Illusions of the Divine
by trifangirls
Summary: Set after A Long Conversation in the first editions of Lady Midnight. An alternative ending for how the rest of Jace and Clary's engagement goes. Shit goes down.
1. The Reply

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from TMI, TID or TDA, should they appear in any of my work. CC owns them all.**

 _"Marry me" he said, "Marry me, Clary."_

The words seemed surreal to her. Years of fighting, lying to themselves and each other, only to be constantly rejected. All of those years had led to this, this state of uncertainty and elation.

Despite Magnus ruining their moment, Clary had never felt so alive. That moment had led to Clary lying awake in her bed, freezing in the cold institute, listening to the clock tick away each second.

Relenting to the need for Jace, for security, she padded silently through the empty, barren halls, to Jace's room. Pushing the door open, Clary could make out the silhouette of Jace's sleeping body. Barley stirring in his sleep, Clary lifted his arm and pressed herself against his warm, golden skin. Much to her surprise, Jace pulled her closer. "Not as sneaky as you hoped" he murmured groggily.

"Yes" Clary whispered into his ear, "I will marry you."

-{Time Skip}-

A ray of sunshine came through the partially closed curtains, waking Jace. Stretching out, he noticed the slight figure pressed against his body. Rousing in her sleep, Clary turned to face him, smiling at the way the light reflected off his hair.

The shower was refreshingly cold, surprising Clary, snapping her out of an almost drunken haze. "Hurry up! It takes effort to stay this gorgeous daily!" Jace yelled teasingly, "I will come in, you know."

Clary smiled to herself whilst calling out "I don't doubt that you would, but then all of your bloody hair gels will disappear!" Chuckling at the thought of his expression, Clary stalked into her own room passing by Jace who brushed his fingers through her hair for a second as they gazed into each others eyes.

Jace clambered into the shower during the time that Clary went to her bedroom.

As she was too tired to care about appearances she grabbed any old clothes from her old life, from Simon. Realisation hit Clary hard, _Simon._ He was getting back from Idris today with Isabelle with the news. He was coming back today. _Today_.

 **By IH**


	2. The Announcement

**So, I have received reviews saying that they wanted this story to continue, which I wasn't planning on doing until after Everybody's Life is Messed Up, but, luckily, I am going to continue both. Whoever Guest is, this is for you. And the 342 views.**

Throwing herself down the hallway, Clary squeezed Izzy and Simon until Jace and Alec dragged her off them. "Calm down, I need my strength! I have important news." Izzy joyously announced. The boys exchanged glances before running down the hallway. "Simon! Not like that!" She winked at Clary.

"How was Maryse? Are you to allowed to get married? Are you pregnant? Tell me everything!" Clary bombarded Isabelle with questions until she ran out of breath.

"Firstly, Maryse is fine, of course we are allowed to get goddamn married and yes I am pregnant." Izzy screeched. Clary was gawping at her. "Oh my god does he know? How long? Boy or girl? Tell me!" She moaned.

 **Jace P.O.V**

"I asked her." I announced to the boys whilst playing D&D. Alec and Simon dropped their controllers. They burst out laughing. "Guys I'm serious." I was bewildered.

"She is only what, twenty one, and you proposed to her!" Simon screeched. "By the Angel, she said yes!" I yelled in their ears. They fell silent. Alec flipped me over his shoulder and began to pat me on the back, far too vigorously, but enthusiastically. Simon was lost for words as I grinned at him.

 **Clary P.O.V**

Clutching Isabelle's hands she noticed the cold metal around one of my fingers. Gasping she grabbed my hand to her face, desperate for a closer look. "Jace…" she stuttered. "Jace proposed!" I squealed, hugging her. "Planning time! So, the date, food, guests, decorations…" Izzy was beginning a mental list as I called my mom over with Luke.

"I'm engaged!" I shrieked, "Nope. Mneh I'm engaged. Can we order pizza? Definitely not." Standing in front of the mirror, practising how to break the news to my mom and Luke, I barely noticed the knock on the door until Jace waltzed in. Walking up behind me, he grabbed my hips and spun me around to face him. Suddenly our lips crashed together with surprising amount of force. Pushing me against the wall, he mouthed my collarbone and neck. Letting out a deep, guttural moan, he silenced it with another mini supernova. Tumbling onto the bed, I let my hands explore his golden skin, mapping every familiar inch. With his questioning eyes he silently asked for my permission, which I freely gave with another kiss. Throwing my shirt into the pile of clothes, his hands creeped up my spine, feeling every indent of my back, every battle scar, every imperfection. I began to curse inwardly for not wearing a fancier bra, but what did he expect, it was for Simon and Izzy, repeat, Simon. I flushed when I noticed that, despite the plainness, he was looking at me like his saviour, his God. There was no going back once his hands reached my bra clasp, even though, I froze when there was a foil crackle above my head. Closing my eyes, I gasped and lost myself to him, his every movement, every curve.


	3. The Scream

**I'm going to keep this short, this chapter might be even more rushed than its predecessor because I am doing an all-nighter to finish it. Shout out to Panda2004 who desperately couldn't wait two weeks!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from TMI, TID or TDA should they appear in my work.**

 **Magnus P.O.V**

Unsurprisingly, knocking on doors, hands full with planning notes and ideas, is very hard. Even for a warlock, let alone the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Nevertheless, I managed. Finally finishing my account of the day to Izzy, who looked like an eager puppy wanting more, I stretched out my arms, "Where are the blessed couple?" I couldn't resist but to ask. "In her room, I didn't want to disturb them." Izzy sulked. Muttering "Young love" I walked down the hall to Clary's room. Knocking the door I heard a loud curse the me from the 'delightful' Jace.

 **Clary P.O.V**

Dammit, throwing on my clothes I rushed to the door "Isabelle, I will kill you! Can't anyone have some priv…" I trailed off at the sight of the ever glittering, Magnus Bane, "Alec is down the hall. Go away." Confusion flashed across his face, "No my little biscuit, I am here to congratulate you! And then we will do planning!" He grinned. How is constantly so happy? Running down the hall to Izzy, "I told you! No big parties, no celebration and especially no MAGNUS!" I yelled, causing Izzy to flinch. "Fine, we won't." She muttered. Surprised at her nonchalant attitude. I froze to see Jace leaning against the doorframe. "Clary, if you kill Izzy, I will not marry you." He teased. My jaw dropped and my stomach plummeted through the floor.

 **Isabelle P.O.V**

"Jace, can you keep her occupied. We have some serious planning to do today." Jace was staring at me with his typical stony expression, except it looked like 'blue steel' from Zoolander. "You can't actually expect me to let this slide. Anyway, you're good at distraction. Smirking she pushed me into the corridor.

 **Jace P.O.V**

Rushing after Clary, I found her in her studio, painting. Staring at her enrapturing eyes, her vibrant hair and her slight frame reminded me of Pandemonium, when I first saw her, when she screamed after I killed an Eidolon demon. Or when I saw lean into rat-boys arm at the coffee shop. Nothing made me more jealous of him then. Especially when he walked out of her room. "Not as sneaky as you hoped." Clary was beside me leaning against my shoulder. Laughing I rested my head on hers. "What are you drawing?" I whispered.

"None of your business, moving to cover her work. Grinning, I hauled her over my shoulder to get a better look. Screaming a battle cry, she began to pummel my back, to no effect. Gasping as I took in every detail of her work. It was the institute, but with all of the Lightwood and us standing at the door. Shocked by her work, I forgot I was holding her until I heard a thud against the floor. Spinning on my heel, I screamed.

 **Sorry for the cliffhanger there, I leave tomorrow so I might not be able to post for another 2 weeks. You are allowed to kill me.**

 **Until next time**

 **Trifangirls - IHxx**


	4. The Dream

**It's official, there is no WiFi in my hotel in Borneo, so, that means two weeks without Clary and Jace. There will be a massive chunk of chapters published in two weeks, I am writing this on three hours of sleep so please excuse my spelling. Here we go.**

 **Isabelle P.O.V**

My Shadowhunter reflexes had me down the hall before I could register what was going on. Slamming into the studio doorframe. I cried out when I saw Jace on his knees next to Clary. _Breathe, she's okay. She's survived worse._ Magnus screamed at the pool of blood beneath her head. Tears pricked the back of my eyes, and Jace was trying to not breakdown. "Infirmary…" he whispered. Alec appeared in the corridor, carrying Clary's arms and Magnus grabbing her legs, Jace staggered behind, with me stabling him as he sobbed grievously.

 **Jace P.O.V**

Oh god. What had I done? This is what my nightmares had shown me. I'm so stupid. Falling into Isabelle, I tried not to look at my fiancée's dying body, hanging limp in my friends hands. Oh god. Noticing Simon's uncomprehending face as he grimaced in pain. Oh god, kill me. Without on knowing it, Izzy was pushing me into an infirmary chair as Magnus and Brother Enoch tended to Clary. Oh god. I couldn't take it. Feeling queasy, I vomited.

 **Clary P.O.V**

Oh no, not again. I was standing on a lawn, shaded by trees and a large manor house if mellow golden stone, on the other was a rolling sloped hill. The sky was blue, but it seemed more than that, it was a perfect blue, speckled with fluffy white clouds. The house was covered in trellises of climbing roses in red, gold and orange. The bricks were the colour of buttercups in spring accentuated with the morning dew and sunshine. Balconies of wrought iron curved out from the facade. My eyes landed on two bronze-coloured wood arched doors, decorated with delicate wings. _Wings for the Fairchilds. This is the Fairchild manor, it has stood for four hundred years and will stand for four hundred more._ There was a reassuring, gentle voice in the back of my head. Spotting my mother on one of the balconies, wearing a champagne-coloured dress, leaving her arms bare, showing all of her black runes. Following her gaze, I noticed that, at the bottom of the slope, where the land flattened out, the was an archway of roses, and, on either side, there were rows of wooden benches. The aisle in between was scattered with white flower petals, from the white flowers that only grew in Idris. I could smell their familiar honey-scent from here.

Looking back at her mother, I noticed that Luke had joined her on the balcony. I saw that Luke was halfway dressed for a party, in formal trousers and a shirt with rolled-up sleeves. His arms were also covered in runes, ranging from insight to good luck and love. "Are you ready?" He called down to me.

"For what?" I yelled back, but neither of them appeared to hear me as they headed back inside. A voice called my name, making me spin on my heel. The sunlight shone in his white-pale hair as he approached her. He also was dressed for a party, in formal black with gold runes adorning the cuffs and collar. He was grinning, making me notice the dirt on his cheek as he moved a hand to block the sunlight.

Sebastian.

He was the same, except entirely different: His features had softened and his skin was tanned instead of sickly pale and his eyes-

His eyes were the colour of spring grass. _They have always been green._ Said the annoying voice in my head. _People marvel at how similar you all are, him, your mother and yourself. His name is Jonathan Morgernstern, your protective brother._

"Clary! You're not going to believe…" He said again.

"Jonathan" A small voice shrieked and I noticed a small girl running across the lawn, with the same red hair as me, flying behind her like a demented flag. She was barefoot, wearing a green lace dress, fraying at the edges so much that it resembled a shredded lettuce. I guessed that she was four or five years old, and her face was also streaked with dirt and she was adorable. When she reached Jonathan, she reached up her arms and he bent down to swing her up into the air.

Delightfully shrieking as she was held over his head.

"Ouch, ouch - quit that, you demon child!" He moaned as she pulled at his hair."Val, I said stop it, or I'll hold you upside down. I mean it."

"Val?" I echoed. _But of course, her name is Valentina._ Said the whispering voice in the back of my head. _Valentine Morgenstern was a great hero of the war; he died in battle against Hodge Starkweather but not before he had saved the Mortal Cup, and the Clave along with it. When Luke married your mother, they honored his memory in the name of their daughter._

"Clary, make him let me go, make him—owwww!" shrieked Val as Jonathan turned her upside down and swung her through the air. Val began to giggle as she was set down on the grass. She turned her eyes to me, I noticed that they were the exact blue as Luke's. After considering it for a moment, she said to me, "Your dress is pretty."

"Thank you," I replied said, still half in a daze, and looked at Jonathan, who was grinning down at his small sister. "Is that dirt on your face?"

Jonathan reached up and touched his cheek. "Chocolate," he said. "You'll never guess what I found Val doing. She had both fists in the wedding cake. I'm going to have to patch it up." He squinted at me, instantly regretting saying that. "Okay, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that. You look like you're going to pass out."

"I'm fine," I reassured him, tugging nervously at a lock of ny hair.

Jonathan put his hands up as if to ward ne off. "Look, I'll perform surgery on it. No one will ever be able to tell that someone ate half the roses off." He looked thoughtful, considering his options for a moment. "I could eat the other half of the roses, just so it's even." He had a mischievous grin on his face.

"Yeah!" Val cried from her place St Jonathan's feet. She was preoccupied with yanking out the dandelions, making the white pods go everywhere, catching in the wind.

"Also," Jonathan added, "I hate to bring this up, but you might want to put some shoes on before the wedding."

Looking down at myself, I saw that he was right, I was barefoot. Barefoot, and wearing a pale gold dress. The hem drifted around my ankles like a sunset-colored cloud. "I—What wedding?"

My brother's green eyes widened. "Your wedding? You know, to Jace Herondale? About yea high, blond, all the girls looove him—" He broke off. "Are you having cold feet? Is that what this is?" He leaned in conspiratorially, I could tell he was going to tease me. "Because if it is, I'll totally smuggle you over the border into France. And I won't tell anyone where you went. Even if they stick bamboo shoots under my fingernails."

"I don't—" I stared at him, baffled. "Bamboo shoots?"

He shrugged eloquently. "For my only sister, not counting the creature currently sitting on my foot"—Val yelped—"I would do it. Even if it means not getting to see Isabelle Lightwood in a strapless dress." "Isabelle? You like Isabelle?" I felt as if I were running a marathon and couldn't quite catch my breath, it was excruciating.

He squinted at her. "Is that a problem? Is she a wanted criminal or something?" He looked thoughtful. "That would be kind of hot, actually."

"Okay, I don't need to know what you think is hot," I said automatically, grimacing "Bleh."

Jonathan grinned. It was an unconcerned, happy grin; the grin of someone who'd never really had much to worry about beyond pretty girls and whether one of his little sisters had eaten the other sister's wedding cake. Somewhere in the back of my mind I saw black eyes and whip marks, but I didn't know why. _He's your brother. He's your brother, and he's always taken care of you._ "Right," he said. "Like I didn't have to suffer through years of 'Oooh, Jace is so cute. Do you think he liiikes me?' "

"I—" I said, before breaking off, feeling a little dizzy. "I just don't remember him proposing."

A Jonathan knelt down and tugged on Val's hair. She was humming to herself, bundling daisies together in a pile. I blinked—I'd been so sure they were dandelions earlier. "Oh, I don't know if he ever did," he said casually. "We all just knew you'd end up together. It was inevitable."

"But I should have gotten to choose," I said, in a near whisper. "I should have gotten to say yes."

"Well, you would have, wouldn't you?" he said, watching the daisies blow across the grass. "Speaking of, do you think Isabelle would go out with me if I asked her?"

My breath caught. "But what about Simon?"

He looked up at her, the sun bright in his eyes. "Who's Simon?"

I felt the ground give way underneath me. I reached out, as if to catch at my brother, but ny hand went through him. He was as insubstantial as air. The green lawn and the golden mansion and the boy and the girl on the grass flew away from me, and I stumbled, hitting the ground hard, jarring my elbows with a pain I felt flare up my arms.

I rolled to my side, choking. I was lying on a patch of bleak ground. Broken cobblestones jutted up through the earth, and the burned-out shells of stone houses loomed over me. The sky was white-gray steel, shot through with black clouds like vampire veins. It was a dead world, a world with all the color leached out of it, and all the life. I curled up on the ground, seeing in front of myself not the shell of a destroyed town but the eyes of the brother and the sister that I would never have.

 **So, this was a longer chapter, I hope that you liked it. I have nothing else to say really so…**

 **Until next time,**

 **Trifangirls - IH xx**


	5. The Attack

**Hey guys! Before I smash a wall I need to tell you this. I just went out for coffee with a girl who didn't know what TMI was. So I was like okay, let her try it, so we went back to my place and she tried the first page, and threw it out the window. She is out buying me a new book and commissioning glass people. I can't handle this before a holiday! Okay, rant over. Enjoy!**

 **Three Weeks Later**

 **Jace P.O.V**

Staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, I saw bags accumulating under my eyes from weeks without sleep. I was tired, yet I didn't care. I spent every hour at her side. Drawing on wakefulness runes when Izzy had her back to me, I wanted to lengthen our time together. I began making a mental list if everyone I have pissed off. Isabelle. Luke. Maryse. Clary. Magnus. Jocelyn. Oh god. Jocelyn was pissed. We had to lie saying that Clary fell down the stairs for her to get off my back, literally. She still didn't believe us. Yet I hadn't annoyed Alec, I was ever grateful for the cups of tepid coffee he brought every half hour. Slumping against the cool wall I slid into a sitting position. That's when I heard it. A high-pitched scream. Sprinting to the infirmary I saw Isabelle on her knees next to Clary. A moving Clary. Oh god. Her ever-vibrant hair was matted and coated in blood. Her fern green eyes landed on me and her jaw dropped. Rushing over to her, Isabelle intercepted me. "Don't." She said through gritted teeth, " She's in shock. She had the dream from Edom. Now I don't know what it was, but she is messed up. Go away." Her eyes were pleaded with me. Reluctantly, I let Alec and Simon drag me away. So caught up in grief, I didn't notice where we were going until the pushed open the heavy institute doors. Grunting in protest, I wriggled against them as they pushed me into Takis. Putting plates of pancakes and waffles in front of me, they sat in silence as I meticulously ate them, by this point I knew that it was better to get it over with. "This isn't your fault. Well, technically it is, and we lied for you…" Simon was cut off by Alec when he saw how off course he was going, "We are not here to discuss whose fault what is, Simon I've seen Isabelle naked…" A mischievous grin crossed his face. Simon yelped and was on top of him in seconds. "Dude, he _is_ her _brother_." I interjected, "And plus, we know that Izzy is pregnant. So…" They had begun to make me feel slightly better. Confusion flashed on his face, realising my mistake, Alec and I bolted out of the diner, into the cool, mid-summer night air.

Noticing Simon gaining on us, I cursed the Shadowhunter Academy for training him so darned good. Nodding to each other, Alec and I split off into our hunting formation, using Simon as the demon. Jumping down on him from below, I heard him yelp as I grabbed his neck to insure that I would be able to stay on his shoulders.

 **Isabelle P.O.V**

Forcing Jace away from Clary broke my heart, I knew exactly how he was feeling. I had to keep reminding myself that this was better than letting her near him. She would kill him. Calming Clary was hard enough. When she woke up she screamed, then began to gag, as if she was trying to expel something from her body. Sweating hard she sat up, staring blankly into my eyes. Her eyes though, they were empty, the green had dulled and her movements had slowed considerably. If rejecting Jace wasn't bad enough, the sight of Clary like that definitely hurt. This couple would be the death of me. At least Simon was fine, he didn't know about the baby, and Jace and Alec won't tell him, Clary just came out of a coma so there is no way to find out for him. "Isabelle!" I groaned as I heard Simon shout my name from the entrance. Pushing myself out of the chair, I froze as I heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. _Not a good time Simon._ I made to the door as he was at the end of the corridor, sprinting down to me, he grabbed my neck and slammed me against the back of the door. Clawing at his hands, spots blurred my vision and I could feel the darkness coming. Using all my strength, I screamed. It was ear-splitting. Conceding, I began to think about the baby, the suffocating baby. Suddenly I was on my knees, gasping for air as Clary hauled Simon off me. My scream had woken her and, in true Shadowhunter fashion, her response was to come running, thank god. However, my scream had also alerted Jace and Alec. Their faces as the noticed me on my knees, I suspected that they had seen from Clary's intervention. Alec rushed over, but Clary was pushing him away. Easing me to my feet, she led me to a chair, checking my neck, she constantly looked over at Simon, who was sobbing, at what I didn't know.

 **So, this chapter only has two perspectives, but I hoped that you liked it. Comment below on what you think Simon was crying about, being a father or attacking Isabelle?**

 **Until next time,**

 **Trifangirls - IH xx**


	6. The Jump

**I'm so sorry about it being a month. My brother has been in hospital, he was really sick so I haven't had time to update this story as I have been looking after him. Here you go. (Be warned there are spoilers for Pretty Little Liars in this chapter)**

 **Clary P.O.V**

"Has he even spoken since….." Alec broke off as he saw me at the door. I sighed and grabbed the vodka out of Jace's hand. He began to protest but broke off when he saw my face. Taking a big gulp I sat down on the edge of the couch. "Do you really think that's wise?" Alec was staring at me quizzically. Jace coughed loudly and violently shook his head at him. Not in the mood to argue with them, I turned on the TV. This made Alec perk up a bit, as we continued our Pretty Little Liars Marathon. Jace groaned and stumbled out to Magnus' tiny kitchen. "Anyone want coffee?" His words were slow and dragged out, the past month had destroyed us all, but especially him. We both mumbled a yes and our focus went back to the screen. We were only on Season 2 because Alec insisted that we re-watched the whole series. Ezra was just about to tell Aria's parent about them, despite this being the 100th time I still love the reaction. Barely keeping his balance, Jace fell into the room carrying three cups of coffee.

 **Simon P.O.V**

Staring at the blank walls of my room I barely felt the tears subconsciously slipping down my cheek. That's how I knew I was broken. Irrevocably broken. Pushing myself off the bed I threw open the window, and clambered out onto the window sill. Bracing myself for the impact, I paid no attention to the voice shouting "Simon NO!"

 **Clary P.O.V**

I press end call and turn back to the boys. "That was Izzy…" Jace stood up and grabbed my shoulders to stop me from collapsing. Leading me to a chair, I choked out the words "He...jumped" I gazed into his golden eyes. "Isabelle caught him, but got dragged down with him." As I told them everything I noticed the tears slipping down Alec's face. Apparently they were both in a serious condition in hospital after Rebecca saw them falling and called 911. Jocelyn was having a fit and Luke was trying to calm her down. Unfortunately Maryse had decided to grace us with her joyous presence, or in other words she had come to kill us. Isabelle miraculously hadn't lost the baby, but the situation was still precarious. However Simon had used his body to protect Izzy, so he was in a serious condition. He had more broken bones than I knew he had, but his internal organs were doing as well as they can after falling from Rebecca's apartment block. They weren't doing great. Brother Enoch has been sneaked in to apply some iratzes to them, so they are improving at least.

 **So…**

 **Dun…dun...dunnnnnn**

 **This is hopefully the last morbid chapter, but I don't know how many chapters I am gonna be able to write until my brother gets better, so…..**

 **Until next time,**

 **Trifangirls - IHxx**


	7. The Past and The Grateful

**I'm back, and this time, its personal. I joke, I joke. I hope you missed me. Nah, who would miss me? My brother is officially 100% better. Yay! And I am officially 100% tired. It is 3am right now, and I am living off coffee. So let's get to it!**

 **Disclamer: I don't own any of the characters in this, the genius known as Cassandra Clare does.**

 **Clary P.O.V**

Standing around the huge mahogany table in the office of the institute almost made me think that things were normal as we discussed strategies to take down a gang of psychotic vampires running around slaughtering every mundane in sight. Hearing heavy footsteps and gasps at the door, I spun on my heel. "Hey! You're not allowed in here." Jace yelled.

Ashlynn nodded, "I know, its just, they're, they're awake." My eyes widening i pushed past poor Ashlynn and sprinted to the infirmary. Spotting Alec, I gave him a questioning glance, to which he grinned and nodded.

 **Isabelle P.O.V**

"I you had that bloody wedding without me I will kill you." I screeched. As Clary came over to me she shook her head. "I'm sorry, it's just, I really don't like you all that much, and you were so desperate. However, I saved you some cake, which Jace then ate." Shocked into silence and fake punched her arm as she began to grin. "You are horrible." I muttered. Glancing at a grinning Simon, I sighed. "What happened?"

 **Jace P.O.V**

"Well, masochistic Simon over here, decided, ah, to hell with it, and tried to fly. While you, his impregnated mollycoddling fiancée, decided to jump on little Simon-bird-hybrid-things back for a joyride. Yet both of your farfetched dreams came crashing down like a feather, except with much more force. Welcome to reality my bird-vampire-mundane-nephilim-hybrids." Grinning at the both of them, I laughed, "Well, at least, that's how _I_ remember it."

 **Isabelle P.O.V**

Well. At least he hadn't lost his sense of humour. I sighed and rested my head on the pillows as I clutched Simon's hand. I truly loved him. Yet somehow this shocked me. I was pregnant with my fiance's child and I was shocked that I loved him. That didn't make any sense, did it?

Eventually I gave up. What was the point. I loved him. End of story, there was nothing else to it, was there? My head was full with questions. Is this what it felt like to truly love someone? Is this what drove Jace to the brink of insanity for Clary? Will I ever know the answers to these questions? Probably not. I decided, what was the point. If I was happy with what I had, with my disfunctional little family. That was enough. For me at least.

 **Clary P.O.V**

I was happier than I had ever been. Finally we were all together again, and soon there would be Isabelle's child. Then Jace and I would probably have a little kid too. It shocked me to think how we have grown. How we have moved on from the Nephilim mocking the two 'stupid mundanes' and learning to fight with knives and Seraph Blades. All of these things that brought us together. All of these things that brought us here. To this moment in time. This perfect moment in time.

 **So...**

 **I know that I haven't posted in an eternity, and that I haven't been active at all recently. And I'm sorry. I also know that this chapter is basically the characters thinking deeply about their lives. This is because of my brother. It has made me realise that there are somethings in life that we take for granted. So if you are reading this. Stop. And think about what you have to be grateful for. And pray for those people who need it in their darkest hour. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the people who prayed for my brother and I. I will be eternally grateful. This chapter is dedicated to all of you. Especially ShayRay** **13.**

 **Until next time,**

 **TriFangirls - IHxx**


	8. The Love and The Death

**Hi guys, I don't know if you read the review I left for all of the readers. If you haven't, please read it. I am trying desperately hard to write more, and given that I am off of school until the New Year, I should have more time to write, but I am visiting family, however I will post a chapter as a Christmas gift for you all! Remember this. I love you all! Thanks soooo much!**

The bright lanterns cast shadows behind me as I trudge through the sludgy snow. The narrow boardwalk is deserted of shoppers, except for a few tight-knit couples holding hands and making their way to the Christmas parade in the town centre. I just wish I was one of them. Remembering him as his life disappeared in my arms. All I could feel was guilt.

 _Walking in to the dilapidated building, I felt like I could scream. I grabbed the wall for support as I passed piles of dead werewolves. We didn't bother to knock on the scorched door, it was barely hanging on its hinges and any occupants would have ran for their lives. I rubbed my temples, still tired from the Endarkened attack. Where was that bloody idiot? We had split up to look for him. I hated the idea, but it saved time and I wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of here. Despite the massacre, my senses could tell that something wasn't right. I decided it was the smell. Almost like blood, but all of the bodies had been burnt beyond recognition. It was like when your nose bleeds and blood runs down your throat. Turning the corner, I closed my eyes. There was the blood._

 _Standing for a couple seconds, my stomach churning, eyes closed. All of a sudden I wanted to be small and to crawl into someone's lap and tell them about the blood. I wanted them to pat me on the head and say to wait, and they would see about it. But I'm sixteen now. I had to see about it myself._

 _Forcing my eyes to open, I made myself look at that blood. I created even more pain for myself. I opened that door to my vulnerable heart. After hating him for an unbelievably long amount of time, it all came down to this. I made myself look at my boyfriend's pale body._

 _I didn't cry. I couldn't cry, because that thing could not be him. The two things, that pale body with the hole through its chest, and my boyfriend, could not be connected in my mind. They just couldn't. I staggered over to him and slid him onto my lap. It was almost like usual, only my whole body was beginning to shake. I shook until I could hardly see, and my insides were only feeling worse and worse. The blood, the blood...I shut my eyes and it was still there, pasted on the insides of the lids. I opened them, and I brushed the hair from his face, my hands shaking so hard I could barely see them. A great sob escaped me, and I covered my face with shaking hands as a great tremor overtook me. I mumbled incoherent things through I hands and choked on my sobs, and I tried to make the blood and the pale thing with the hole through the heart go away._

Night was falling. The setting sun's red rays lit up the sky above the western horizon. I could see an oil tanker making its way across the sea just on the horizon. I couldn't stand. Not anymore. Stumbling to the nearest bench I sat and stared blankly at the ocean. Thinking about what he said, "The past always matters. That's what they tell you when they join the Praetor. You can't forget the things you did I the past, or you'll never learn from them." The waves were lapping against the pillars of the boardwalk. The sounds were soothing. They were like weed. They gave me high. They took away all the pain. They always did. They were the only reason I moved here. Across the country, far from my home. From those who I loved.

Soon the sun disappeared below the horizon and the sky turned dark but I stayed still and sat on that very boardwalk gazing at the place where the sun went down. Sunsets are mesmerizing as the first time. They always were. Only when the mosquitoes started coming in great number was I brought back to reality.

The night creatures were already busy with their activities. On my left where the shuttered up shops were, I could hear the shrill cries of the cicadas and other insects. On my right the waves broke gently on the shore sending up sprays of phosphorescent surf.

The sounds and sights of nature were wonderful. The noise of occasional traffic along a road nearby was the only blemish to the otherwise perfect natural surroundings. I was more of blemish than that. I was always a blemish. The one person who ever thought differently died in my arms. After I had denied him honesty. I never wanted to deny him the truth. I didn't love him anymore. He ruined my whole life. Why did he think a person like me, so irrevocably broken, would ever love again?

However all bittersweet things must come to an end. The moon's light was no longer enough. I could feel the shadows reminding me of those I lost. Darkness regained its mastery. I walked along the boardwalk towards the centre of town. I began to run. My hair flying behind me like a demented flag. Crabs both large and small scurried away at our approach. A gentle breeze rustled among the coconut palms. The black sky was full of glistening stars. It felt good to be alive. Unlike him.

Him. I wanted to scream. Why did Clary get to kill Sebastian? He wronged so many people. Why did she get to be the only one to take revenge? It wasn't fair. Jordan deserved so much more. So much more than me. Why hadn't he chosen one of the skinny girls with hipster glasses? Why me, a rounded girl who was so broken that I couldn't bring myself to spare him pain. If he had, he could be alive. He wouldn't have needed to protect Simon to reach me, he would be alive. A living and breathing person. Not realising where I was anymore, a horrible feeling began to build up in my stomach as I turned around. All I saw was two lights. Two awfully bright, approaching lights. Everything went.

 **Simon P.O.V**

 _I was standing on the penthouse floor of the Carolina, taking in the view of Manhattan._

 _All the creatures who live here scramble curiously to and fro during bright hours. But at night long after the hustle of people the city becomes still. There are always people around. Just less so during darkness. The remaining city lights started to become more apparent, like a bed of electric flowers. I prefer the dark and don't actually understand their motives. Perhaps it is the opposite for them than for me._

 _I could see across Central Park to the Met museum. High above the smells of humans, their nests rise out of the ground like trees and cliffs. The lights ablaze where any predator could see them. Foolish, really. I can't seem to stay away though, it is just so beautiful. The blues resemble the daytime sky, the greens the trees and grass. The yellows resemble honey and dandelions, the reds the colour of apples and cherries. Marvellous. The jagged outlines of their square buildings cut into the sky and I watch the big metal birds soar high above. Blinking lights red and green._

 _Looking around me, I thought about how my time was always swallowed by things such as promotions, tours, signings and appearances. Still. It was a good problem to have. Eventually the darkening sky turned the window to a mirror and I could see my reflection. Tousled hair, jeans, vintage t-shirt; and then the background. There were acres of hardwood floor, gleaming steel, leather furniture, and an elegant, gold-framed painting on the wall. It was Clary's favourite, a Chagall. It was all soft roses and blues and greens. It was incongruous against the apartment's modernity._

 _There was a vase of hydrangeas on the kitchen island. A gift from his mother, for his gig with Stepping Razor. A tiny note attached read "I love you, I'm proud of you." Blinking again in confusion, if they were from his mother, why were they hydrangeas? His favourite flower was roses, and she knew that. Turning away from the window, I took a closer look at the vase. However, they were roses, white roses. They always had been._

 _A rattle of keys startled me. Then a door opening. A petite red-head with a brilliant smile entered the apartment. It was Clary. "Oh, my god," half laughing, half out of breath. Pushing to door closed, she leant against it and sank down to the floor. "The lobby is a zoo. Press, photographers; it's going to be crazy going out tonight". Finally rising and crossing the room, she laid her keys on the table. She was wearing a long, yellow silk dress embroidered with colourful butterflies. Her hair was pinned up with butterfly clips. She looked so warm, open and loving. As she neared him, she slowly put her arms up, and he went to kiss her. Just like every day when she came home._

 _Clary smelled the same, of chalk and perfume, her fingers were smudged with colour. She began to wind her fingers in his hair as they kissed, she tugged him down, laughing against his mouth as he nearly overbalanced._

 _"You're going to have to start wearing heels, Fray," I said, pressing my lips against her cheek. "I hate heels. You'll either have to deal or buy me a portable ladder," she said, letting me go. "Unless you want to leave me for a really tall groupie." I smiled at her humour. "Never," I said, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Would a really tall groupie know all my favourite foods? Remember when I had a bed shaped like a race car? Know how to beat me mercilessly at Scrabble? Be willing to put up with Matt and Kirk and Eric?" She smiled knowingly. "A groupie would more than put up with Matt and Kirk and Eric." I scoffed. "Be nice," I said, and grinned down at her. "You're stuck with me." Clary sighed. "I'll survive," she said, plucking my glasses off and setting them on the table. The eyes she turned up to me were dark and wide. This time the kiss was more heated. I wound my arms around her, pulling her against me as she whispered, "I love you; I've always loved you." My insides felt warm at her declaration of love. "I love you too," I said. "God, I love you, Isabelle."_

 _I felt her stiffen in my arms, and then the world around him seemed to sprout black lines like shattered glass. I heard a high pitched whine in my ears and staggered back, tripping, falling, not hitting the ground but spinning forever through the dark._

 **Dun, dun, dun. I am trying to write more, and have longer chapters. *They say but then they will probably forget because they will be reading endless amounts of fanfic.* I joke. Not.**

 **Also, I don't know if you noticed, but I didn't say who's perspective the first part was. I did this on purpose. Comment below who's you think it is. The first person to get it right, or if you come up with a strange and interesting answer, will get to add in an element to the story!**

 **Thanks for reading and go favourite if you liked it, even if you didn't. Favourite it. Now. I'm joking...**

 **TriFangirls - IHxx**


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